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My Amateur Poetry

My Amateur Poetry

Postby benjy96 » Sun Nov 14, 2010 7:18 am

For Ashton :)
__________________________________________________________________

We have known each other for quite a while.

We know each others fears and weakness.

You say you can see right through me,

but the bitter truth is,

you're the transparent one.



I find it hard to believe you can be so blind

I find it hard to contemplate why you try to take me down,

when all I try to do is empathize you.



So you cut me into pieces.

I don't care.

As long as it helps you,

I couldn't care less.



Unleash your anger upon my bosom,

upon my face,

upon my limbs,

upon my very mental sanity.



You cut me into pieces..
Last edited by benjy96 on Fri Jun 01, 2012 9:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: My amature poetry

Postby eve » Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:12 am

I just found this topic completely by accident +::O_o wow benjy,it's strong and very emotional... :) I will give you more info on your poem in time...Cuz I see a LOT of stuff ;)
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Re: My amature poetry

Postby benjy96 » Sat Mar 24, 2012 4:16 am

Necro-posting much..? This topic has went without replies for almost two years! +::O_o

I'm embarrassed you found it anyway. All of my poetry from that time was a bunch of angst-filled, puberty-induced drama.

And I just realized I spelled amateur wrong... +::cry
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Re: My amature poetry

Postby eve » Sat Mar 24, 2012 11:49 am

I know but I found it completely by accident when I was looking for something else and I said ''oh,that is something I really wanna check'' +::biggrin Besides,better late than never,right? +::O_o You shouldn't be embarassed ;) Spelling is not important in a poem,at least not for me,so don't worry.Anyway,tell me why did you chose to write a dramatic poem?
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Re: My amature poetry

Postby benjy96 » Sat Mar 24, 2012 2:06 pm

It was about my friend who was going through a rough patch in her life. In the past we would always rely on each-other for help in times of peril, but she started pushing me away or taking her anger out on me.

And I was fine with that.

Though I'm trying to find my old journal to remember exactly what she was going through at this time, because this was posted about two weeks before her mother passed away...
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Re: My amature poetry

Postby eve » Sat Mar 24, 2012 2:10 pm

I am sorry ti hear about that :( You are a good friend benjy +::heart And you should definitely keep writing,I think you will make some wonderful pieces! :)
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Re: My amature poetry

Postby benjy96 » Sat Mar 31, 2012 4:39 am

This is a dream I had around August 2010 or so. It involved me in the point of view of a somewhat attractive teenage girl. She was in a car with a bad-boy date in the driver seat. He took her hand and placed it underneath his on the gearshift. He looked deep into her eyes and said calmly "I'm the one who killed your father..."

I instantly woke up and put a sticky-note on the desktop of my laptop (or so I thought) that said "Lucy has to fly..."

Later, I woke up and realized I never woke up in the first place, so I started writing the story "Lucy has to Fly."

Unfortunately, my laptop's harddrive crashed in December, and I haven't had that dream until last night.

This time, I decided to make it a poem, and actually make a hard copy in my notebook. -___-'

Soooo! With all giant introductions aside, here's the poem!
Maybe I should run.
Maybe I should hide,
but only if I could fly,
I could rise above these petty games and selfish lies...

My friends have betrayed me,
my father has died,
and now I find myself transfixed within the enemy's eyes...

Maybe I should run,
then maybe I could hide,
but only if I could fly...

I could rise above these petty games and selfish lies...


Scraps
Spoiler: show
If I were to fly, then I wouldn't have to hide

If only I could run,
Then maybe I could hide
But I'm bound by a steel chain tied 'round my feet and they've clipped my wings
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Re: My amature poetry

Postby D-Squall » Sat Mar 31, 2012 4:40 am

Interesting benjy, I like how you had the idea to do that. I mean, from a dream, very cool. +::Thumbup
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Re: My amature poetry

Postby eve » Sat Mar 31, 2012 10:44 am

You have a wonderful way of stating the truth inside your poems,and that is something that I love :) Oh,benjy,my dear cutie pie,sometimes it's so hard to believe that you are only 16... +::heart

Writting a poem makes me wonder
how a soul can find the strength
to make the truth sound like thunder
he has the smartness,he goes the length.

Keep walking forward my dear,
and never be afraid
you have absolutely nothing to fear
such warmth will never be betrayed.

Vow to protect anything that shine,
using my knowledge as a sword,
keep writting under the line,
keep bringing beauty in this cruel world.


This is for you,my dearest benjy I do hope that it does makes sense cuz,gosh,it's so much easier in greek +::biggrin
Go my benjy,go,go,go! +::clap
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Re: My amature poetry

Postby benjy96 » Sun Apr 01, 2012 1:20 am

Awww! Thank you, Eve! +::heart
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Re: My amature poetry

Postby eve » Sun Apr 01, 2012 1:54 pm

:) +::heart
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Re: My Amateur Poetry

Postby benjy96 » Fri Jun 01, 2012 9:05 am

I was in a very dark place tonight. So dark, it inspired me to write again. Do not worry, anyone who might have stumbled upon this, I have no intention of killing myself. I'm not that selfish.

The name of this poem is Suicide Note

Let us sit down
Let us pretend that I'm a real human being
Let us pretend that I never hurt her
Maybe if this never happened, I wouldn't be here now.

Let it be known that it was never my intention
Just a side effect of my many selfish endeavours
All I wanted was for her to love me
Not for her to blame herself for my melancholic state.

But now
I sit here with a gun to my head
I try to talk myself out of it
The guilt is too strong
I cannot go on living now that I know I hurt her.

Boom.

I am gone now.
Now I am in an expensive oak box
Certainly the most expensive possession I have ever called my own
Such a senseless thing to spend money on
Just to be put in the ground
Never to be seen again

It must have cost my parents a fortune
Money they didn't have
Even in death I still give people troubles
But I guess that's how I was made
Troublesome.

Maybe someday
Somewhere
Somehow
Someone will understand the s*** that went through my mind.

But does it really matter?
I'm dead
I should be at peace.

No, I can never be at peace knowing that I hurt her
Never.
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Re: My Amateur Poetry

Postby eve » Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:22 pm

Very intense poem indeed.II could try to um...analyzing it a little bit but the beauty of a poem dissapears if you try to analyze it.I liked it for various reasons and the most important of those is the wisdom in those words.Sometimes I really cannot believe that you are soooo young :) Bravo +::clap
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Re: My Amateur Poetry

Postby benjy96 » Sat Jun 09, 2012 11:44 pm

If you wish to know more about this poem, check the topic on Eri's site..

http://www.eridanigames.com/forum/viewt ... =24&t=1689
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