Titaness's book

[titaness]

As I posted elsewhere, I'm in the process of getting my first book published
called "Senior Moments". It is about comical moments that have happened
in my job as nurse to dementia patients. Hope these won't get lost in the
translation. When taking a patient down for a test, she asked where we
were going. Without thinking, I responded, "We're going down there to that
place we're going to." Hmmm...the scary thing is that the confused lady actually
understood what I meant! Yikes!

[Ladybug]

Best of luck with it Titaness! Sounds great! I guess confusing directions can work well on confused people, huh?

[titaness]

Yep, problem is, sometimes we can't tell who's more confused, the patient
or the nurse!!

[vanijane]

That sounds heeps interesting! ALthough, I've always been scared as heck of nurses and doctors >.>

[mellowkat]

lol would you like some of mine
One funny and somewhat mortifying moment was when a patient (elderly chap in his 70s/80s) started giving me a human anatomy lesson by telling me the whys and hows of men getting erections WHILE I was giving him a shower

[vanijane]

[quote="mellowkat"]lol would you like some of mine
One funny and somewhat mortifying moment was when a patient (elderly chap in his 70s/80s) started giving me a human anatomy lesson by telling me the whys and hows of men getting erections WHILE I was giving him a shower [/quote
I can't stop laughing.

[eridani]

Congrats on the book Titaness, I wish you the best of luck with it

[titaness]

Mellowcat, I suppose nurses ARE the same everywhere. You just can't embarrass us!
I have many stories along the same line as yours, but didn't know if I could post
them here, but I think it'll be okay to say this....You know how rushed we all
get at work, right? Sometimes we don't pay attention to or read back over what
we have written. Once, I found I had written...."Large, brown stool ambulating in hall!"
Yikes, can't you just get a visual on that one?? And here are a few others, not written
by me,though,fortunately!! They are in my book though.
"Both breasts are equal and reactive to light."
"The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor."
"The pt. says the scar on his neck is from hemorrhoid surgery."
"The pt. wants to be x-rated."
"Her husband states she was really hot in bed last night."

[mellowkat]

I think I have seen similar ones on the net.

I love talking to happy dementia patients. You have the most brilliant conversations with them!!
Me: What are you planning to do today?
Patient: Oh I have to go out the back and round up all the sheep
Me: Oh and why do you have to do that
Patient: Because they are all need to get ready for the show
Me: What show is that?
Patient: Oh you know the one where they dance around alot
Me: What sort of dancing do they do
Patient: Rock and roll dancing! Didnt you know that??

[titaness]

So very true. I love to get into the delusions these people have. They can be hilarious. I always say,
"Don't mess with my delusions, I thoroughly enjoy my delusions! One of the funniest things to me are
some of the things nurses say in report. One told me one day that the patient was having very constipated smelling gas. So once out on the floor, I couldn't stop thinking...just what the heck DOES constipated smelling gas smell like?? I took a survery and got all kinds of crazy answers. One gave me a whole dissertation regarding the length of time the specimen had been "fermenting"!

[vanijane]

So, how much "into the process" are we talking about? :D

[titaness]

LOL. The outcome of the survey is still undetermined! It can be a most "explosive" process

[SurferGranny]

Best of everything with the book! Be sure it gets on Amazon and let us all know! Not a nurse, but was an EMT for 17 years. We used to say that we worked the streets!

Best thing about dementia is that you can hide your own Easter eggs!

[titaness]

That's a great one Granny...may I quote you on that? Cool about the EMT, I adore the ones I meet. They
always have something funny to say!

[SurferGranny]

Be my guest! You nurses see sooo much in the wards, but we see them when they are trying to figure out what happened. Usually tramatic. Both worlds much needed. And if we didn't laugh a lot, we'd cry waaaaay too much!

Like the time we responded to a decapitation and couldn't even declare the guy dead because way back then EMT's couldn't! Had to take the poor guy into the ER so a doctor could declare him dead!