The writings of Eri

[eridani]

In bleakest corners of my heart
A voice cries out so torn apart
For though you get to rest in peace
For me the questions never cease

I wanted you those growing days
Would fix you with a child’s keen gaze
I wished for smiles - a glow of pride
For you to be there by my side

But all I got was cruel refrains
That fed themselves into my veins
I was so wounded while so young
Injured by the fist and tongue

The darkness held my life so long
It will still knock when I’m not strong
Today I think will be that way
As in my thoughts you’ll always stay

[Aggeliki]

Have you ever thought of your poetry as songs? Great work!! (even English is not my mother language, you convey your thoughts and feelings so fluently that even i can understand them...)

[eridani]

Thank you, no I have never seen them as song but other people have before.



Hope

There was once a dark world of watery currents - a mass of swirling confusion and pain. Across the flat surface of this world the living strained to survive against the bleak tides. Their every moment was spent clinging and fighting for survival for if they were taken they would be dragged over the very edges of existence, down sheer waterfalls into an eternity of desperate and dark decline.

Yet even in this place, where the faded spirits of humanity were constantly pulled towards the dark edges there was this one Hope. It was there as a speck amongst gloom - a radiant chance set right on the horizon of despair. To reach for the tiny Hope was to risk all as it’s position was so close to failure, everything could be lost - a fall from the edge, succumbing to despair, a mere undercurrent falling from the battle, failing in the fight.

Yet who could resist that chance? Who could not be mesmerised by a sheer possibility when all around was certain murk and living dirge. In bleakness the small bright light of Hope drew all sight, captured all heart and promised the future as a reality not a futile wish.

So, focus was set on the tiny possibility - on the opportunity that could be.

The road to Hope was risky. Succumbing to the currents in the shimmer of trust that they would be kind, being swept by forces so powerful and holding true the belief that your goal was real and would be reached. That somehow despite the cruelty that was known a twist of fate could occur to steer upon the right route. One tiny glimmer became the foundation of possibility.

I tried to get to Hope.

I set my mind like concrete against the rational cries that told me that it was not to be. I loosened my grip on my reality and instead of fighting against the tides I flung myself into the over eager arms that had clawed and pulled at me all my life. I cried out as I was swept along, no more in control of my path, a mere flotsam of emotion begging for sanctuary. I gave up on reason and chanced with the pulse of my heart that told me, it has to be better than this, there has to be more to my life.

And somehow amongst the waves, amongst the souls that were swept away, amongst the rhythms of life that dragged at all who ever breathed and bore down on them day after day…Hope saw me. Hope called me. Hope guided me to its home.

The bright speck that was so unachievable seems to blossom and grow, it blushed light – creating rainbows in mind and over the despairing tides. Gentleness conquered strength. Even as I drew near I was fulfilled by Hope, my memories dissipated as if my past never was, as if love and tenderness had been there instead. What did it matter what had been then – if this was now then all that had come before was worth the fight.

And I was glad. Hope held me and I flourished, my dimmed soul let light permeate through again. Instead of being cloaked in dimness the shadows that had coated my life began to move as a mist, they still belonged to me, still encased some parts of the past and yet I was lighter. I was moving not suffocating. I flowed gently in peace with the dark currents forgotten and tamed.

I felt was there for evermore.

But Hope was not as it seemed. Hope never did understand. Hope in its beauty and glory desired only light to survive, yet I brought dark in my wake. Though the darkness loosened its grip my shadows were still part of me somehow, never to completely go. I was tainted, and although my time with Hope brought a luminous break, I myself was not bright enough it seems. Hope did not want to be clouded. Hope did not want to nurture the truth of the world. And I was rejected. I was left to fall.

Plunging from from brightness makes the dark seem so much worse. That which had seemed like a nightmare was suddenly real, my demons arose to claim me back. Back to my place, back to where I belonged.

Hope watched as I fell into a void I couldn’t escape from. A void that Hope could have held me from, a void where I still wanted that light. Sometimes even as I fell Hope was there somehow, yet now Hope was cruel - with bright light and inquisitive watch – but not with help. Not with an offer of support or escape. Not with a compromise of acceptance. Hope liked the light and Hope would not join the darkness – not even to light the path and help one so desperate back.

Hope was a child that failed to see that time and patience could make the tainted and dull light of mine shine. That the shadows and whispers of my memories made me more complete not less. I was never all dark, but a life in the dimmed world had formed cloaks against me. I had light as Hope did, but I needed help and time for it to shine. And Hope did not want me. Hope was false, Hope was vain, the pain was real.

I am now but a futile resistance against the eager falls of despair. A silly and stubborn entity clinging onto the pain that the light has now become. Bruised and battered my descent will take me, how long now until I am just one more dark pull on the light of the world? How long before all is extinguished? And how many will turn to Hope before finding that actually only the darkness is real.

[bobbydaz]

What an eloquent and powerful piece of prose. Poignant and dark which life can sometimes be. You have a beautiful way of expressing yourself and it seems very real and plausible.

[eridani]

Thank you Bobbydaz

Hidden World

Night-time fell around my thoughts
Darkness made its claim
And as I lay there in my sleep
A whisper called my name

I heard the plea to follow
I felt my heart respond
And so I stepped outside my mind
And found a land beyond

There is this place of wonder
A world of gentle hue
A peaceful home of comfort
That somehow I just knew

No stranger was I to this world
No fear it gave to me
For it was all my dearest things
Right there for me to see

I saw my treasured longings
I passed them on my way
I walked amongst my loved ones
Those people lost to day

My hand was held in comfort
By those who I had grieved
They told me words of wisdom
So I could be relieved

I wish I could have stayed there
With refuge from all pain
But mine was just a visit
Real life called out again

I felt myself fade far away
As darkness came once more
I found that I had come back
To where I was before

And yet that night did change me
It gave me faith anew
As I will go there one more time
When my life’s end is due


Do not worry

Do not worry, do not cry
It will not be a last goodbye
We need not fear the end is here
As you will stay so very near
I’ll see you in the rising sun
In each new day that has begun
Your voice will carry on the breeze
Amongst the whispers of the trees
Your smile will dance where kindness shows
Your heart will beat when courage grows
And as the evening closes day
You will be with me as I pray

[Alikamou]

Wonderfully moving Eri. I like this one best You've reminded me of so many things I've forgotten. It feels like my baban, dad and older brother are trying to impart so much of their loving knowledge through your writings. Thanks You.

[Indinera]

Beautiful work as always.

[rifle100]

wow, good job eridani

[eridani]

Thank you - I would really appreciate anyone reading this to go to my blog http://eriswritings.blogspot.com/ and follow as that was set up in memory of my mum.

Melodies

Melodies of memories play in my heart and soul
Cascading with a sorrow that I just can’t control
The emptiness of missing notes sounds out into a void
Reminding me my purpose has simply been destroyed

Bereft of all I wanted, removed from chance to cope
It feels a long unwinding will take me far from hope
A slithering reluctance has made its way to heart
Its whispers full of knowing that we’ll always be apart

Undertones and rumours now form reality
Clinging to my conscious with a crass vitality
To fight them would be futile as they must always win
The key to my disquiet lives so very deep within